So this is possibly the scariest & certainly the most hippie/ Bali thing I have done in my life…
A few months ago I went through a breakup from a 5 month relationship, but I wanted to experiment with my feelings & mindset towards it.
I heard on a few podcasts about a relationship closing ceremony where the goal was to end things peacefully & without resentments.
Was it really possible to cut someone out of my life & leave only positive memories & genuine well wishes?
Especially when I was the one that got broken up with??? T
he answer turned out to be yes. In fact, I felt so drastically better after doing it, I decided I should share my experience with you guys… which to be honest is a pretty scary thing for me to share!
So how is a relationship closing ritual done?
Luckily she was open to it, and we met in a beautiful, quiet outdoor garden about 2 weeks after breaking up. We started by sharing the things that we appreciate the most about each other, the character traits, the quirks, the good things.
This ensured we could do the ceremony from a place of positivity. The default breakup mental state is to focus on all the reasons you don’t like that person. Not great for the mind!
Then we shared our favorite memories together. In past relationships I’ve let the good memories get overpowered by the bad ones & I didn’t want that to happen here. It was nice going over some of the great experiences & honoring them for still being great memories. Great memories are still great no matter what may happen afterwards!
Then we shared our vision for our own lives & the vision we see for the other person’s life going forward. Sharing from a place of honestly wanting the best for the other person was a powerful way to conclude the ceremony.
And it had a sense of finality to it, sharing what you see for the other person without you as part of that vision. After a long hug, we parted ways with smiles & a feeling of gratitude for having shared a beautiful experience together. Quite the contrast to the bitter exchanges, grudges, hurt, & resentments experienced in past breakups!
Overall the ritual felt quite ritualistic which I think is important for big changes in our lives. In western culture we rarely take time to honor these changes & are abruptly thrust into another reality without so much as telling a friend about it. It was nourishing to the mind and soul so hippie or not, I would recommend a relationship closing ritual to anyone going through a breakup.
1:15 – The closing
4:13 – The ritual
7:33 – Dispelling egoistic defense mechanisms
8:57 – The Work
11:18 – Personal examples of ego toxicity and the process of working through them
14:19 – Closing thoughts
Links/resources
The Work – https://thework.com/
